Cutting Anchors to Set Sail

Ayleah #Class of 2015

I have been rather quiet lately on social media. Most of it is because I have been navigating through some unchartered waters as I prepared to graduate another child, become comfortable in my new work environment, wrap my mind around what God is calling me to do while simply enjoying the simple moments of intimacy that I find in God's presence. As things have slowed down a bit, the reflections have began to pour in.  I realized that my first born is 20 years old, almost the exact age I was when I gave birth to him. At this time 20 years ago, he was 2 months old. Amazing, beautiful, perfect with God's glory all over his face. It's amazing to think about how life and time transforms us beyond those precious moments (good and bad) to here and now...still being shaped and molded for His purpose. I love it! Oh! I love you, too God!

Norris, Ayleah and Isaiah

As I continue to reflect on the many gracious seasons of my journey as a mother, many decisions that I made were a direct result of the 3 stair steppers that I had in tow for so many years. There unconditional love and the deep warmth found in their eyes gave me so much life and passion. They were always at the top of my priority list and no decision (small or large) was made without them in mind. As much as I probably should have been "selfish" at times to better my spiritual, physical and emotional health...It just never seemed right to think outside of their needs and wants. To the onlooker, some of my decisions at the time may have seemed "selfish" such as my aggressive educational endeavors, my remarriage and my job changes. But trust...each of my babies were always considered in all things because I had the burden to look into my future and build a foundation that would potentially better each of theirs.




Which brings me full circle...we celebrated a beautiful graduation for a beautiful 18 year old daughter this past weekend. Everything was perfect. On Tuesday night, after seeing a multitude of "beach week" pictures, I asked her, "Do you feel left out because you are not at beach week with everyone else celebrating graduation?" She pondered for a moment and answered me with the most heart warming, mature, to God be the Glory answer.

"No, because I am not like them anymore. I saw a girl at the gas station today that asked me the same question and I told her that there came a time in my Senior year where I had to cut the anchors to those who were holding me down and back & Set Sail on my own journey.  I understood that there are so many more things in life that are higher than me and them that I must now focus on. And, if I had went to beach week, I would not have had a good time because "we" are not of like spirits anymore. I love them but we are not into the same things. You just have to accept it when you've outgrown people."

 

I cried. No, I wept. I asked her, "Who are you?" with pride and humbleness realizing that she has learned something at 18 that I didn't learn until I was almost 40 years old. Every decision that I have made, every sacrifice that I endured to change and evolve as her mother was for this very moment. Every prayer, war cry, intercession and declared promises over her soul and ultimately her eternal life that I came against the enemy with was for this moment. I realized that even if I lost some battles, I did not lose the war.  Every battle is worth it. And our children, our loved ones, the lost souls are not to be given up on...no matter what. I realized that whether we are living upright, holy and according to God's word or not...our children are watching and learning from us how to trust God and stand on Him for all things. Believe that...

God is faithful and just! I give all honor to Him because it is through His transforming power that I am able to write this testimony today with pure thankfulness!!! 

You Are My Happily Ever After: Mission Statement

Aubrey and I were inspired tonight to create a marital mission statement and we are sharing it in hopes to encourage all the beautiful couples we know to do the same. So many people have asked us how we survived "it." So many have inquired both knowing and not knowing where we came from how we maintain a marriage of devotion, playfulness and fire. This mission statement is ours; it meets the needs of our relationship. It is an example to give insight and prove to you that God has a healing power. Your words are powerful as ours are. We dare you to think different, do something different and take the time and invest in your marriage. Healthy marriages lead to healthy families. I promise...

You Are My Happily Ever After: Our Marriage Mission Statement

Our union is a public proclamation of our faith and trust in God as the Lordship of our lives. It is through Him alone that we exist as one flesh, committed to love one another unconditionally. Jesus Christ is the foundation of our marriage, with forgiveness, compromise, faithfulness and honesty as the cornerstones. Our covenant promises and values are as follows:

•  We promise to encourage, respect, honor and love each other, both as individuals and as a couple. (1 Peter 4:8, Hebrews 10:25, Psalm 51, Ephesians 5:33)

• We encourage each other to grow in our relationship with God and remain steadfast in our hearts to live a promise and purpose-filled life according to God’s Word. (Romans 8:28) 

• We believe in the demonstration of love and affection in our daily lives to encourage our family and others to live a life holy and pleasing unto God through our marriage. (1 Peter 1:15-16)

• We commit to daily prayers individually and for each other while indulging in God’s Word seeking intimacy with Him. (1Thessalonians 5:17, James 5:16)

• We promise to pray for and raise our children and grandchildren in the ways of Our Father God offering guidance and support to the plans He has for their lives. We promise to speak the promises of God over their lives daily and declare spiritual warfare against anything or anyone that attempts to destroy our seed or theirs. (Joshua 24:15)

• We declare to be seekers of truth and revelation being ever so sure to lead our family in a way of righteousness and His glory.(Ephesians 6:14, Ephesians 5:22-33)

• We commit to honor each other’s dreams and plans that God so orders for our lives as well as our families. (Jeremiah29:11)

• We yearn to build relationships and to serve within our church family and commit ourselves to serve our communities and the world. (Galatians 5:13)

• We commit to use the gifts The Lord has blessed us with to serve each other, our family, friends, church and those in need. (1 Peter 4:10)

• We promise to be faithful and trustworthy to each other, never allowing another to hold an unworthy, unholy position or voice in our union contrary to our vows and the Word of God. (Ecclesiastes 4:12, Mark10:9, Malachi 2:16, 1 Corinthians 10:13, Psalm 133:1, Hebrews 13:4)

• We promise to be careful with our words and never intentional in causing pain to each other’s hearts. And if we do, being quick to seek forgiveness and being even quicker to forgive.  (1 Corinthians 13, Ephesians 4:32, Proverbs 12:18)

• We transparently proclaim our marriage as a true testament of reconciliation and forgiveness through God’s grace, mercy and our submission to be broken and restored in His love, freedom and holiness. We stand tall above our past, walk confidently in our present and praise Him now for our future. (1 John 1:9, Ephesians 5:21, Ecclesiastes 5:4-7, 9:9, Exodus 15:26, James 5:14)

We believe that God has healed and saved our marriage to be a Godly example and share His healing power. It is by the application of Christ-like principles that we move forward in a healthy God ordained marriage. With God’s strength and guidance, this mission statement will not be only words but visible evidence to others in the way we live our lives from this day forward. We are committed to demonstrate to a watching world that God has us on a mission to further His kingdom.

Aubrey and Rebecca Parker

February 17, 2015

Your Real Worst Enemy Is Closer Than You Think!

Is Satan your only enemy? No. Overcoming does not limit itself to simply victory over the devil. Our “enemy” goes beyond the demonic to include SIN and SELF. All things contrary to Christ and His Life can ultimately be placed at the feet of SIN, SATAN or SELF.
Sin and Satan are obvious enemies. But have you considered SELF? More than Sin, or even Satan, Self is our most dangerous enemy. It leads to a Defensive-Unteachable spirit. Are you prideful, argumentative, stubborn, full of head knowledge, arrogant, unapproachable, egotistical, superior, quick to be an “expert” and rebuke others with haughtiness? If so, than your spirit man is not right with God and you will only bear spoiled fruit.
Pride is our primary sin coupled with idolatry before we are born again. We are dead in sins and trespasses (Ephesians 2:1) and this necessarily produces selfishness. We make life all  about US and OUR views and our GREATNESS!!! Then Christ comes along and we discover that no actually – we are in fact really awful “Prima Donna’s”. This then is usually a discovery that is learned more and more soberly over time as we get whipped by the rod of God’s correction. A defensive heart does not submit, it rules over itself, it holds onto its life (John 12:25) and will not die to self. Not at all a Christlike demeanor.
There is a proverb (12:1) that says:

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.”

Correction plainly means we have not been left to ourselves, and not wanting to take it is to exchange the truth of God for a lie, because we claim to be wise. It is a form of idolatry – of self-exaltation, of self worship. He who humbles himself will be exalted, and he who exalts himself will be humbled (Luke 14:11). A mighty God humbling us is a painful thing, and it often comes in the form of correction, and sometimes even embarrassment. However down the line, there is tremendous growth in it. We should be grateful for correction, it is out of love, especially when it comes from the fellow brethren. It’s not always Satan…a lot of times it just You working against yourself. Allow yourself to be free…free from that spirit of victimization.  Everybody isn’t out to “get” you.

“Lord we humbly come to you today to ask that you forgive us for our prideful sinful nature. We only serve ourselves when we allow pride to lead us hindering our spiritual walk with you. We ask that you help us overcome this and make us better students of your Word. And as we open our Bible, please reveal to us the truth in your perfect Word and give us a deeper understanding of the Word. Grant us spiritual wisdom to better serve you and lead us in your righteous path. In Jesus holy name we ask.”

The Gift of Reflection

I sat on my porch yesterday evening, reflecting over my life and where I am today. I do this quite often...sometimes too much. On yesterday, my thoughts were consumed with how many mistakes I have made and how many times I almost made more but didn't by God's grace. It wasn't long before my husband joined me on this thought provoking journey and we started to talk about these mistakes and how they have shaped us into who we are today, at this very moment. I explained to him that I am in a place in my life that I have stopped trying to please everyone. I am solely trying to just please God. This new direction has led me to embrace some people, places and things that I wouldn't normally and it has also allowed me to let go of some people, places and things that I couldn't on my own. 

You see, I have a quite a few gifts. Some of my most strongest include being sensitive and empathetic, a forgiver, and the discernment of spirits. I am the person that can tell when something is wrong and will cry with you because I can feel your pain as if it were my own. I am also the girl that forgives easy and moves on to a higher road in any relationship. However, above these gifts is my ability to try the spirit by the spirit. Because of my sensitivity and discernment, I can tell when someone genuinely cares and loves me and means what they say or unfortunately means me no good or are a wolf in sheep's clothing.  These are very heavy gifts to carry sometimes because I don't always want to feel others pain and I don't always want to know people's true intentions. Nonetheless, it is my cross that I must bear and I must find ways to use it for the glory of the Kingdom.

"My heart is glad to be in this new space." This is what I told my husband while we chatted on the porch. I don't expect much from man. I don't look for validation from my friends and family by trying to please them anymore. I am who I am because of life experiences and how God made me. I came from where I came from because that was how it was suppose to be. I am not ashamed of anything in my past. I am no different than the next sinner who is seeking redemption from a merciful God. I am happy to be in this new space with my husband, children and God realizing they are all I need in order to be happy with me. I love you all!

 

1 John: 4

Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:

And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them.We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error.

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.

Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us.

If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.

Mother's Day 2011-The BEST!

Margaret & I

Can I just say that my Family out did themselves this year. I was filled with so much emotion that I could hardly stand all the love that I received on yesterday! My Mother's Day began on Saturday evening as I received a visit from my girlfriend, Margaret. She blessed me with a lovely card and a "pocketbook" charm for my bracelet. She wanted to highlight my love for shopping and pocketbooks!!!! (She knows me well!) :) We shared a glass of wine & tried to solve the world's problems before I konked out on my couch!

On the next morning, I woke up with excitement. I couldn't wait to get dressed for church and share the day with my First Family! My husband presented me with some high-heels to go with my dress. They were beautiful and just my style! 

Me & Aubrey (My heart!)

He also gave me a dozen of white roses to beautify my day even more. My daughter, Ayleah came downstairs with a homemade Mother's Day card expressing her love for me and then the banger...she gave me a scrapbook filled with pictures, memories, dates, etc...from all three of my children starting with Norris and ending with Isaiah. These pictures reminded me of why I am who I am and why I do what I do. I just cried my eyes out! The time and effort that it took to put this creative design together was more meaningful than anything they could have bought me. My role as a mother was bursting off those pages and my love for my 3 children was saturated from corner to corner!

After I got myself together and my makeup, we went off to church. I was pleasantly surprised to have the same girlfriend that shared my Saturday evening over wine to also join me for church! Also, another soul sister (Stephanie) was there as well with her family! I was feeling so blessed and overwhelmed with God's love! 

Me & My Babies!

Boy, was I in for a treat though and only God knew what was next. While sitting in service, my daughter (Ayleah) sends me a note pointing to a picture on the church program of our pastor Brian baptizing someone. She proceeds to tell me that she wants to get baptized on the date noted on the program. Isaiah asks me what is going on and I tell him. He then tells me that he wants to get baptized as well. Can I just say that I wanted to jump up and stop service right then to tell the world that my babies wanted to profess Christ and publicly acknowledge Him as their Lord & Savior. Of course, I started crying all over again! Another gift but that one was from God and could not be beat! Thank you Jesus!

My family then took me to a restaurant called Great Seasons for Mother's Day Brunch which was yummy, elegant and lovely! It had an awesome atmosphere and great food! After a much needed nap, we ended the evening by going out to the movies to see Fast Five! It was very good and the scenery wasn't half bad either...Needless to say, my Mother's Day was extraordinary and I am thankful to have received all the love from everyone who mattered the most! Thank you God for showing me that a Mother's love does not go unnoticed and all the sacrifices are truly worth it!

Mother's Day 2011

Staying Out of God's Business

I often wonder what people think of me. I wonder do they see the good in me or just the bad. I wonder do they appreciate my kindness or just take advantage of it as an entitlement. I sit back and ponder on my perception of the world and its perception of me. I imagine what could be going through their minds when my strong personality forces its way into a situation. I think about my love and wonder does everyone that I love, know that I love them and do they have any clue how much. 

I consider how I could be different, better, more intriguing without compromising who I am and what I have become due to my life's experiences. I think less about the past than I do the future. I don't wonder long about what people use to think about me because those are days of old. As the wondering comes to an end...I realize that I don't really care so much about what people think of me! I am strong & confident enough to know that 99.9% of me is good and pleasing to God. 

Yes, I fail...sometimes royally. Yes, I think evil thoughts and consider evil deeds. However, the love that God has bestowed upon me...I have in most cases chosen to turn the other cheek, pray for those that despitefully use me and forgive my enemies. "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;-Matthew 5:44" 

I think about the future that I am creating and how I can be a more perfected me. Individuals are cruel and in most cases have short memories of their own sin(s). We find it very easy to see the wrong in others instead of focusing on our own shortcomings. I have chosen to work daily on me and I refuse to point out others failures in their lives. I refuse to invoke my moral ideology on those surrounding me. My God is their God. Our God is a Just Keeper & Protector of our souls. He is able to chastise, rebuke and love us back to His spirit like no human can.  We are His representatives of the quality of life that the Kingdom of God offers. That means at home, in church, and in the marketplace -- we're each called by God to rise to our maximum level of achievement. It is His plan for us. Thank God that HE equips us (and teaches us His character) to reach His goals. I want to be a building block, a rock, a cornerstone, a lover, a true friend and Christ-follower...while being sure to stay out of God's business and mind my own.

Hank Williams says it best:

Mindin' other people's business seems to be high-toned
I got all that I can do just to mind my own
Why don't you mind your own business
If you mind your own business, you'll stay busy all the time.